


Swallow Your Pride

by lilacskiesandroses



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Bisexual Jack Kelly, F/F, Homophobia, Italian Racetrack Higgins, M/M, Sad Ending, Slurs, Swearing, The other Newsies are in this but not really, They die at the end, Trans Racetrack Higgins, theres a lot of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacskiesandroses/pseuds/lilacskiesandroses
Summary: “PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” The police sirens were wailing and the bright lights of the policemen’s flashlights weren’t helping with seeing any better in the dim light of the room. Race turned to his friends, the people he’s experienced everything with, people he’s been friends with since diapers. He smiled at them, giving them a slight head nod.  Knowing this was it the four friends slowly let down their hands and held hands, closed their eyes, hearing the gunshots and waiting for the bite of metal.“FUCK THE GOVENERM-”BANG.This is a bit of a rewrite, some major things have changed, some things have stayed the same. It's all in the notes.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Sarah Jacobs/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	1. The State of the World is so Gray

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, hello. When I first wrote this I was in a not great place and poured all of my love into it. I come back it a year later with what I know now. If you read the original, thank you. Some things have changes, some new characters, big chapter rewrites and that jazz. But some things are still the same, just revised a little. I hope you enjoy this unedited 2-5 am rewrite.  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia

“ _ PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” _ The police sirens were wailing and the bright lights of the policemen’s flashlights weren’t helping with seeing any better in the dim light of the room. Race turned to his friends, the people he’s experienced everything with, people he’s been friends with since diapers. He smiled at them, giving them a slight head nod. Knowing this was it the four friends slowly let down their hands and held hands, closed their eyes, hearing the gunshots and waiting for the bite of metal. 

“ _ FUCK THE GOVENERM-”  _

**BANG.**

*** 

Antonio “Racetrack” Higgins wasn’t your typical college student. For one, he wasn’t always Antonio, the name “Race” came from him being on the track and field team, and a very very tipsy Jack, one night in high school. He was once Adelina, but that person was long gone. 

When he was 19 the law had changed, President Pulitzer stripped all cities of diversity and love, especially New York. Long gone were the bright lights of Broadway, to be replaced by grey buildings and dingy streets.. The pride flags were torn off of lamp posts and burnt to nothing more than ash and the smell of plastic in the air. Chinatown was ripped down, gone was the vibrant reds and hawkers and smells of food wafting through the air. Instead now it was filled with shitty “Americana” style dinners and more government monitored Macy’s than needed in a singular block. 

Race was now 21, living in a shoe box of an apartment and knowing the danger of being outed, he kept what needed to be kept in the closet, locked up away and never to be mentioned or talked about. New York was no longer a city full of love and diversity, with colour bursting out the seams, no, it was now cold and grey. Pulitzer made a dress code necessary, everyone had to dress like the 1950’s. Girls in dresses, boys in slacks. A gender normative that controlled and limited expression through art and fashion. Diversity and culture no longer existed. Society was a well groomed sham of people. A regime of a government loosely called a Democracy. 

Race just sighed, walked over to grab his book bag, and headed towards campus.

“Hey Race! Wait up!” A voice behind him shouted, a voice he knew very well. Jack Kelly was running towards him, and Race just stepped to the right, and let Jack stumble to a halt. “How ya doin Racetrack?” Jack flashed him a pearly, slightly crooked grin. 

“Will you ever learn to not to run into people when you see them?” Race rolled his eyes at Jack.

“Nope.” Jack popped the p at the end and broke into a large smile. “Hey Davey!” David Jacobs, Jack’s partner in crime was walking towards them, book in hand with a briefcase in the other. 

“No Jack, not this again please,” David begged but to no avail. Jack had picked up his pace by now, barreling into Davey, colliding into him, nearly sending him to the pavement below. 

“Don’t worry Davey, I gotcha.” Jack winked and spun Davey around after helping him stand up straight.

“Not in  _ public _ .” David hissed. Race looked around to make sure the street was still clear of people. Even if someone merely suspected someone was gay., they would be briskly taken to the ‘Government’s Reform Camp’ located all over the country. No one ever returned from one. 

“Ay! Davey, I thought you were a good boy?” Spot Colon was headed their way. As in Sean “Spot” Patrick Conlon, Jack’s older brother and Race’s best friend.

“I am! Just Jack here doesn’t realize we’re in  _ public. _ ” David scowled again still blushing. “How have you been?” Davey asked 

“Eh, I’m not dead.” 

“C’mon we’re going to be late for class” Race piped up and the group made their way to campus. 

… 

“Hey Race, you ready to go?” Jack knocked on his door 

“Coming!” Race shouted through the door. He stepped into his shoes, grabbing his bag, he opened the door to his shoebox of an apartment. He pulled on a worn black leather jacket, and shoved a small box into his pocket and headed out the door to meet a waiting Jack and company.

… 

“We’re almost there, c’mon it’s going to be so much fun.” Crutchie smiled wide. They stopped in front of the  _ Larkin Theatre _ in big bright letters. The owner, Medda, Spot and Jack’s adopted mother, had made sure that it wasn’t closed down when they shut down half the city. Big, tall fences were neighbors to the theatre, the jarring difference of big neon lights, and cold biting metal. The group walked in to be greeted by Ms.Larkin herself. 

“Mama!” Spot and Jack ran into her embrace, being tightly squeezed by Medda. 

“Well hello you two!” Medda and her kids broke into a smile and conversation. “Are you here to hear the bird sing?” Medda asked. It was a phrase to get into the fenced off area as Medda had a stage door that led into the fenced area that wasn’t checked upon. The group nodded and Medda began to lead them to the backstage area, where her performers were getting ready for their show.

“Hey Crystal! How ya doing?” Jack waved at the girl standing in front of the mirror, applying lipstick.

“The same old, doll.” She winked at him and waved him towards her. “How are you doing my boy?” Crystal was barely older than the rest of the group, just 4 years out of college but she had been working for Medda for ages. She was the older friend who would bring the booze and keep her lips shut at the group's parties. Her swing dress was swishing as she walked over and gave Jack a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m doing just swell Ms.Edwards, college life is stressful, per usual.”

“Don’t I know that. Just be careful alright? I’ll join y’all in partying when I get the chance, now go have fun.” She gave him another kiss on the cheek and playfully shoved him towards his friends who were looking at the latest set the theatre was doing. It was a depression era set from both Depressions, with songs pulled from shows like _Hadestown,_ and _Bonnie and Clyde_ which was inspired from the first Great Depression, _Anything Goes,_ which was from the first Depression. There was also pieces from the second Depression, shows like _Urine Town_ , _Spring Awakening_ , _The Colour Purple_ , and _A Chorus Line_ as it’s 2025 revival was said to have “saved Broadway and it’s dying diversity” before it succumbed to government warnings about it’s stories about homosexuality and expression. 

The second depression, or “The Grey Era” lasted from 2016 all the way to 2032, but the  the economy crashed in 2007. People called the stock market crash of 2007 the start of the era but when the 45th president was elected was the official start of the second depression. It lasted so long that the time the group was in college prices and taxes were through the roof. Its effects were shown clearly through the entire country, thousands of houses were abandoned and too many small towns were completely gone, the land scraped clean.

“See ya later Mama.” Spot waved his mother goodbye and led the rest of the group to the stage door. He sighed and opened the door to the outside world. Spot knew this would be his last time doing this. He hadn't told the group yet, but his  _ shot _ was scheduled already. 

The  _ shot _ was an injection that altered a person. Everyone over 21 had to get it and sometimes people would get lucky, they would be 30 or older when they got their shots. It ‘rids a person of their flaws’ and they practically become robots. The people who’ve gotten the shot have no personalities, they’re all perfect housewives and husbands. Adults that were over 40 after the law changed didn’t need to get the shot, Pulitzer said it wasn’t necessary. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” he said. 

Spot snapped back to the group arriving at the front of the secret club. At the front, it was an old fabric shop. The streets weren't regulated on the inside. The fences were just for show, the government could care less about what happens, not thinking people would sneak in. Jack lifted up the carpet and grabbed the key that was hidden under the mat. He quickly unlocked the door and put the key back under the  _ Welcome _ mat. 

The group rushed inside, making sure to lock the door behind them. Race led the way, leading to the bathroom at the back of the shop. With Davey helping him, they lifted up the floor of the shower, not an actual shower but a trap door. Spot started to descend the ladder, Jack following, with Race right behind, and finally Davey . He looked around, lowered himself and snapped the trap door shut. 

  
  



	2. But I'd love to Change It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys hit the club but there's something off in Medda's theatre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Hope you're doing alright.  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/ Homophobic Language

Back at Medda’s theatre, two people, donned in black stepped into the theatre. The air in the theatre instantly shifted, from a warm environment, to a chilling room. Medda whipped her head around, looking at the source of discomfort. Her head was telling her to shoo these people out of the theatre. To walk in whilst the performance was happening, was enough to kick them out, but her heart was telling her something was wrong, and she had to talk to these people. The Bowery Beauties were still in fact, singing, but their faces were creased with worry. Medda walked to the back of the room, being weary of the fact that the entire audience was starting.

“Why hello folks! What brings you here to my theatre?” Medda forced on a smile and guided the two strangers out of the auditorium, opening the door, leading them into the lobby. 

“We’re here to hear the bird sing.” The taller of the strangers snapped. Medda was surprised, people who wanted to sneak into the Castro were usually much more discreet, more secretive. 

“But sugar, the club isn’t open tonight,” She lied through her teeth. These people meant trouble and Medda didn’t like it one bit. 

“Are you going to let us go or not?” The shorter stranger was starting to get annoyed. 

“I’ll let you through then.” Medda shook her head, fearing this might lead to trouble, but still let the strangers out the back, and prayed that her kids, and the people currently having fun below the streets of New York would be safe.

… 

“What’s up my friends!” Jack shouted the moment they entered the room. A mix of replies came back at him, ranging from “Great!” and “How are you?” to “Don’t spend the entire time sucking face with Davey!” from a very happy Race, much to Davey’s disdain. The group headed into the thicket of the dance floor and let themselves have fun, being tired and stressed out college students. Jack led Davey away as Race grabbed Spot’s hand and danced to the music, laughing with him and the shitty music that was being blasted. They danced with the crowd, hot and sticky but fun nonetheless. The rest or their friend group was there, already mixed into the crowd. 

A slower song came on, and Race wrapped his arms around Spot’s shoulders. Spot leaned into his touch, wrapped his arms around Race’s hips and gave him a quick kiss. Race smiled and looked down, proud to call Spot his boyfriend. pulling them closer together and pressing their foreheads together, letting them sink away into their little bubble, pulling each other closer as if it were their last time together. Jack and Davey had returned, swaying next to them, letting the world fade away. 

“I love you so much, Seanie.” Race whispered, foreheads still against each other, bodies pressed close. 

“I love you too, Tonio.” Spot meant it with all his heart, even if he would never admit it. He softly kissed Race with all his love. That moment seemed perfect, a moment to remember for the rest of their college years at least. 

“Get a room!” Jack shouted at them from somewhere and Spot just flipped him off from the direction his voice came.

Little did everyone in the club know that the two strangers in black had found their way into the room. 

  
  


“I knew it,” the taller stranger hissed, “They’re a bunch of fags.” The shorter stranger led the taller one out of the club and it’s bright lights and loud music. 

“Send a call towards the boss, he’ll get this done” The shorter one said as he and the other stranger turned down the street. 

*** 

Too soon they were leaving, pulling on their coats and climbing up the ladder to the bitter and undaunting world outside. The entire friend group leaving, after rounding all of them up for safety in numbers and cars to drive home to their shared apartments.

“Wasn’t that a fun night?” Jack grinned looking at Davey, and Davey blushing much to Jack’s delight. 

“It really was Cowboy, too bad we can’t go more often.” Race was smiling brightly.

“I bet him and Davey are going to have a fun night.” Elmer winked at them, having found them fairly drunk and Albert giggled.

“No, but I hear the shit you and Albert do.” Jack snorted and they both turned pink. “Ya think being your roommate you’d be more quiet.” 

“Ha! This is why you don’t fuck with roomates in the house.” Race grinned and Davey just sighed.

“Don’t get me started on what you and Spot do. Jack and I stayed one night at your apartment and I woke up to ‘OH SPOT!’ and it lasted the entire night.” 

“Albert, you owe me 20 bucks! I knew Race would be the loud one!” Elmer shouted in delight,

“Did anyone not think he’d be the loud one? Jesus Christ Al, that’s a bet you’re bound to lose, have you met Race?” Jack said, smacking Albert at the back of his head. 

“Hey guys?” Spot was oddly quiet, especially after the night they had. Usually he’d be cracking jokes at Jack’s offence. “Um, I got a letter a little while ago,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I know it's a little short but I promise it's just for the sake of pacing!


	3. There's so much We can't do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot got his letter, but what does that mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up!  
> Trigger Warnings: Meantions of anxiety

He paused, and the group were now at the door to the Larkin Theatre. “It was from the San Francisco Medical Centre.” Spot looked helplessly at the group. They all knew what that letter meant. Race was on the brink of tears, and Davey was shaking, Spot could tell his anxiety was skyrocketing. Elmer and Albert shooed everyone inside, this wasn’t their fight. Jack’s reaction was the worst. He just deadpanned at Spot and left, disappearing into the theatre.

“ _ Jackie _ ” Spot called out, tears threatening to spill. Spot Colon didn’t cry, he stopped crying years ago, and now here he was, tears running. Davey bolted after him, his tears already falling. 

“How could you not  _ tell me _ ?” Race was fuming, “We’ve been together for  _ eight _ years! Eight! You know how many couples last through and beyond high school? Not many! You know what I had planned tonight Spotty?” Spot tried to reach out and touch Race, who at this point was shaking. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a box, a box that was small and velvet covered. 

“Oh god.” Spot never thought this would happen. Spot and Race’s relationship wasn’t one that was super romantic, never did over the top gifts, and they weren’t big on PDA. If he didn’t know this was coming soon, he would have never guessed. 

“Yeah I know.” Race wiped his tears and put the box back in his pocket. “Let’s go inside, it’s freezing.” He pulled the stage door open and into the warm theatre. 

“SEAN PATRICK COLON!” Medda’s voice echoed backstage.

“Oh dear god, Jack told Mom.” Spot’s eyes widened, obviously panicking. Race just sighed and grabbed Spot’s hand. 

“You’ll be fine babe, I got a plan for your mom to not murder you.”

“Ms.Larkin please!” Davey was clinging onto her arm trying to slow her down, only to be slowly dragged. Jack was stone faced and silent, quietly walking next to his mother, looking forward. From the echo of the theatre, Race could tell the other guys had already gone home. As they turned the corner Race kneeled and pulled the box out of her pocket. 

“My dear Sean,” Spot’s jaw dropped and he looked at Race.

“Fuck, you’re doing this? Like right now?” Spot was shocked. Out of all of the dumbass things Antonio Higgins could do, he chose proposing. 

“ Shut up and let me finish.” Race’s words had no edge to them. “ I’ve known you for 15 years, and we’ve been together for eight, and I know I’m safe anywhere, as long as I’m with you.” Medda had stopped in her tracks, hand covering her mouth with Jack blankly staring at the pair. Davey, being the brains of the group, pulled out his camera, the one he kept in Medda’s theatre for moments like this, even if he was freaking out a bit. “And I know that you’re upset about things I can’t help, but what I can do is show you love, and show you that I care, and to me, you’re my world. I don’t care that we can’t get married legally anymore. Fuck it. Fuck the stupid ass government because I’m going to marry the hell out of you. I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do without you, you are my rock, my crazy glue when I’m broken into a million pieces.” 

“So Sean Patrick Colons,” Race opened the box, letting the world see the ring he had spent hours choosing. “Will you do the honour of marrying me?” 

“Why would you say it that way? Like Jesus it’s like we’re in 2005.” Spot rambled. Jack snapped out of his trance and doubled over in laughter. Davey soon was also laughing so hard he was crying, while Medda was trying to hide her giggles behind her hand.

“Are you going to keep dear Antonio waiting?” Jack gasped, lying on the ground, in between breaths, still laughing.

“Oh! OH! Yes!” Spot shouted, jumping up and down. Race slid the ring onto his finger, and finally stood up. The three bystanders looked away when the pair started to make out. 

“Hey Mama, we still gotta talk to Spottie about that letter.” Jack had turned to Medda and sighed.

“I know baby, but let’s give them this moment.”She shook her head, in disappointment that her son had failed to tell anyone about the letter. Medda pulled both Jack and Davey into a hug, holding them tightly like they were going to break. “Never change my boys, never change.” She murmured into Davey’s hair, which didn’t go unnoticed by either boy. Davey knew in his heart that he wouldn't be able to keep that promise, that the shot was going to change everyone, going to change Jack’s free spirit the most. He couldn’t remember a time in his life without his friends, and didn’t know what to do.

David Kelly always knew what he was going to do in life. At six he planned out his life, go to NYU, majoring in chemistry, and go work with NASA. That changed the moment he met Jack, Spot, Race, and the rest of the boys. . He never let go of his dreams of going to work for NASA, but he let life in, let fun into his life along his journey. Falling in love was never a part of his plan, but he wouldn’t change his life for the world. He had a boyfriend that he loved, a loving and supportive family, two amazing best friends, and he was in school as planned. 

At this point, Medda had let go of the boys to go congratulate her other children. To Medda, all of these kids were her children, if not by law or blood, then by love. 

“Jackie, let’s go home okay?” Davey looked at Jack, knowing that he was building his mental walls up, and he wanted to knock them down before he completely closed himself out of the world. Jack just nodded, went to go hug his brother and best friend, and holding hands with Davey, they left the theatre to go back to their apartment. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much more that's coming, just you wait.


	4. I'm going to love you through all of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little flash back to the group's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little longer this time!   
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/ Homophobic speech, Drinking, Swearing.

_ Three years ago _

“Hey Sarah!” Katherine pulled Sarah into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. They brushed noses, smiling. 

“Incoming!” Jack jumped on both of them, knocking them all into the grass. It was summer, hot and sticky but the air was full of the smell of grass and sweat. They all laughed, a jumble of limbs lying on the ground. 

“Are you trying to steal Jackie here from Davey?” Race laughed, looking at the mess that was Sarah, Kath, and Jack. Race had an arm slung around Davey, who was now blushing. 

“Ugh no boys are gross!” Sarah squealed, pushing Jack away. “Dave, you can take him back, I rather have Kathy here.” Davey reached to help Jack off the grass and Jack pulled Davey into a kiss. Jack leaned further into the kiss and Davey flushed, but held Jack even closer. 

“Get a room!” Spot threw a strawberry at them from where he was sitting on the picnic blanket with Race. Jack frowned for a second and then grudgingly pulled away. 

“It’s not like you and Race are much better.” Jack grumbled. He gave a look at them, Race was practically lying on Spot’s chest. The entire group was happy, it was Central Park in the summertime and it was pride month. Crutchie and Finch were trying to film the chaos that was ensuing, Blink and Mush were in a water gun fight with Albert and Elmer, Kath and Sarah were now making flower crowns, and Jojo and Henry were painting little kids faces with pride flags. Davey could not of been more happy, his friends surrounding him, Jack burying his face into Davey’s neck, laughing about some sex joke Race had just said. 

… 

That was the last time they were all together. Katherine broke up with Sarah in July, and then she stopped talking to everyone. It wasn’t until Jojo bumped into Kath on the street, her arm linked with Darcy Reid of all people, and a wedding band. Jojo exploded at her, asking her

“ _ Was it worth it hurting Sarah for this?” He motioned at Darcy “Was it worth it hurting Jack of all people? You know that he filed a missing persons report only for Pulitzer to tell him it wasn’t needed? Your father told him that you didn’t want to hang out with us low-lives. Yes, we are poor and yes we’re broken but we’re family. Does knowing you for 8 years and then throwing it all away for what, a place higher in society?” Jojo was heaving.  _

_ “I’m sorry do I know you?” Kath stared at him blankly. Jojo reeled back like he’d been slapped.  _

_ “This is low, even for you Kath. I hope you enjoy being with the rich.” Jojo turned and stormed off, not noticing the odd star shaped scar on her neck.  _

… 

Two weeks later President Pulitzer announced the _ shot _ , or Standardised Hormonal Obligatory Transformation. It was a shot that changes the chemistry of your brain, it pounded out all your flaws and imperfections. With that announcement he also gave the fatal words that would leave half of their group dead by the end of the summer.

“ _ Homosexuality and any signs of it the offending person or person will be brought a Government Reform camp. That is all.”  _

At the news of this, one night in July during a game night, Jojo ran to the bathroom and threw up. Spot stormed off while Race just lit a cigarette in the middle of the apartment and Jack grabbed the tequila bottle and chugged. Crutchie was with Finch, hugging him so aggressively his knuckles were white. Elmer and Albert were slamming back shots as Mush and Blink were aggressively making out while sobbing, as if it would change the law. Sarah’s reaction though, she threw her wine glass at the T.V. and started cursing at it, crying, realizing that this is what changed Katherine, screaming at Pulitzer to give Kath back to her. 

And then there was David. Davey was standing in the middle of the room, watching the chaos ensue, shaking with anxiety. After a while, he grabbed what had to be Race’s fourth cigarette at this point and inhaled. Race just started at him, shaking his head in disbelief. David  **hated** smoking. Then he promptly dropped in on the hardwood and stomped it out. He grabbed a whistle, thank god for the weird shit Race and Spot had in their apartment. He blew into it and everyone turned to look at him, even Spot who had just walked crawled back in through the window with bloody knuckles. 

_ “ _ THAT IS ENOUGH!” Everyone flinched from where they were. Davey never raised his voice. “THIS FUCKING SUCKS SHIT BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T STOP DRINKING RIGHT NOW JAMES SAWYER KELLY, YOU’LL BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!” Jack put down the wine bottle he was in the middle of chugging. “AND ALBERT, ELMER, DON’T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER SHOT,GETTING WASTED ISN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING.” Davey stepped to where they were and grabbed the glasses out of their hands. 

“Jojo? Are you doing alright?” Jojo nodded as he was sitting on the floor where Crutchie and Finch were, nursing a glass of water. “Spot,” Davey sighed “I’ll clean your knuckles in a minute okay? Race I swear to god if you light that cigarette I’m going to throw those Coronas out the window.” Race put down the lighter he was holding and his shaking hand with an unlit cigarette. Davey walked over to where Sarah was still crying. 

“Sar, it’s going to be alright.” He said it as a statement, not a question. David walked room to room, taking all the trash, all the alcohol and throwing it all away. “There’s frozen pizza in the fridge. Someone sober these  _ głupcy  _ up.” 

Race was nowhere to be found. Davey looked at Spot’s knuckles and sighed. He couldn’t stand being inside anymore. Davey grabbed the first aid kit and motioned towards the fire escape. 

… 

“I’m surprised how upset you got.” Spot’s voice was raw, like he had been crying. Davey slowly wiped his knuckles with a cottle ball and isopropyl alcohol. 

“I didn’t want to be that upset but you know them,” Davey looked in at the apartment, smiling at Jack’s attempt at laughing. “They’re loud and chaotic and crazy but I love them.” Spot nodded. “Someone’s gotta be the parents of the group.” Davey gestured at the two of them

“I love him so much you know?” Spot winced as Davey wrapped his hand. Davey didn’t need to ask who he was talking about. “I’m crazy about him, all his bad habits, all his good ones, all his kinks.” Spot chuckled at that and Davey smiled, moving onto the next hand. “I wouldn’t know what to do without him. I don’t think I could live without Antonio.”

“ _ Lui é il mio amore. _ ” Davey looked at him in confusion. “ I want to marry him and have a bunch of mini hims and me running around and have coffee in bed and have a big ass fluffy dog. If you tell anyone, I will kill you” Spot’s words had no bite. Davey finished bandaging his left hand and nodded. They walked inside to everyone eating pizza around the kitchen and living room, all disheveled. 

“Where’s Racer?” Davey asked, looking around for the blonde. 

“I’m right here, Mouth.” Race was sitting on the counter, nursing a coffee. His eyes were red and he was pulling his sleeves down as he raised his hands. 

“Come here, I got the first aid kit.” Davey sighed, walking over but Spot stopped him. 

“I got it, don’t worry Dave.” Davey just nodded and walked over to where Jack and Crutchie were seeing how much pizza they could eat. The entire group just sighed, seeing Spot and Race walking into their room. 

“So I guessed you also punched our wall?”

“Yessir. But-

“Only the brick one in our bedroom” They said at the same time. Race snorted at their tandem speech. 

“Yeah, I know.” Race sighed, full and heavy. He winced as Spot started to disinfect his cuts. “I love you Sean.” Spot looked up.

“I love you too Antonio _. _ ” Spot kissed him gently and wrapped his arms. Race sighed and pulled him into a hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're doing alright and your day goes well!


	5. Pain is inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Spot's letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More stuff happens and if you're uncomfortable with the triggers, at the bottom I'll give a short summary.  
> Trigger Warnings; Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Anxiety Attack

_ Now  _

The moment they got home Jack just walked straight to the bathroom and Davey sighed. It was going to be a long night. 

“Home sweet home right?” Davey tried to brighten Jack’s mood. Sitting down and leaning against the door Davey felt like crying. Their friend group was slowly sinking deeper and deeper into a pit that had no escape. Life was going to catch up to them, and they would get their shots and turn mundane and plain, falling into the background of society.  _ This is society’s fault _ , thought Davey.  _ It was the society that told everyone that being different isn’t okay and if you’re not white, not straight, not cis, not male, you don’t belong here, you don’t deserve to be in the U.S. Society had thought Pulitzer would ‘fix’ the broken, the wrong people, and to the people who are prioritized, they got their wish. More people dead than ever, walking on the street at night would guarantee a gunshot to your chest. That is if you aren’t white, people die in the news every other day, if they even make it to the news. It’s normalized and that is not okay, that isn’t how life should be.  _ Davey knew he could go on and on about the problems in the U.S. and it’s corrupt government. He only snapped out of his trance when he heard Jack talking.

“I can’t believe they didn't tell us!” Jack was crying, Davey could hear it in his voice. “I can’t believe Spot would do that, I mean he’s my brother! I’m supposed to protect him.”Jack's voice cracked, and all Davey could hear now were sobs. 

“Hey Jackie, can you let me in?” Davey gently knocked on the door. “ I know it’s hard, believe me, you saw me when it happened to Sarah.

His older sister Sarah got the shot and Davey couldn’t recognize his sister anymore. It was like someone had sucked all of her spirit, all of her soul out, all of her personality, and left a shell of a person. 

Davey had visited his sister a couple times, after she got her shot. Sarah was now a housewife, and Davey didn’t even know it was his sister. She did everything she was told, and had an odd air about her, like something that was almost mechanical, like Sarah had become a robot. Her parents didn’t know the side effects, no one did. Everyone thought it was a normal doctor’s appointment until Sarah came back to them changed. He heard the door unlock and Davey reached up and turned the doorknob. Jack was leaning against the tub, tears running down his face. It broke Davey’s heart knowing that Jack was so distraught. He walked over to where Jack was, sat down and just opened his arms. Jack immediately just buried himself into Davey, hugging him closely. They sat there for what seemed like hours, both crying over the fate of Sam, and not knowing what tomorrow would bring. 

After a while Jack crawled out of Davey’s arms and sat up. Davey looked at him worried but smiled when he saw Jack turn the knob to the taps for the tub. There were no words spoken, only the sounds of water pouring out of the faucet and the boys just knew that they were safe.

… 

Back at Spot’s place, things were a little different. Race had decided to stay the night, it was too late for him to go out by himself at this point.

“Spot, why didn’t you tell me, tell us?” Race had his hand on Spot’s face, softly stroking his cheek. 

“I tried, but I couldn’t everytime. I’d see you and Jack and Davey and I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you.” Spot’s voice was hardly above a whisper.

“It’s a little too late for that huh?” Race’s voice was sharp and he pulled his hand away.

“Antonio, I’m sorry, how many times to I need to say that?” Most of Spot’s words to Race after leaving the theatre were apologies. “I love you so much and all I wanted to do was protect you. I’m losing myself too Tonio, don’t think that I’m not. The government is going to make me into a husband Antonio, and I can’t do that. We both know I can’t do that. I can’t stand to love anyone but you. I hate knowing that these are the last of the good days, before everything changes.We’re not fucking okay and you know that.” Spot had just said that with an odd sort of calm, but it turned bitter within their next few words. “And I know you just proposed tonight just to get Mama off my back about the shot.” And with that he left the kitchen,slamming the door and Race heard the shower turn on in the next room. 

“GOD DAMN IT!” Race kicked the table hard enough to cause a glass to fall off the table. It shattered, a high pitched sound, causing Race to cover his ears. He started to cry. “ I fuck up everything, don’t I? I fucked up my relationship with my family, fuck up my relationship with Sean, fucked my entire engagement, fucked up  _ everything! _ ” Race slammed his hand on the table, causing another glass to fall off the table along with a plate. He felt his heart race and immediately he knew his anxiety was spiking up. Race tried to breathe but he knew what was coming. His breathing became short and shallow, and his mind went to places that he didn’t care to talk about. Race’s hands were grasped in his hair, pulled tightly and he didn’t hear the bathroom door open.

“Oh god, Antonio, hey Tonio,” Spot saw the kitchen with the shattered glass on the floor and Race panicking in the middle of the floor. “Hey Tonio, breathe, c’mon look at me,” Spot gently kneeled and placed his hands on Race’s face. “Babe, you gotta breathe, c’mon you can do it. Look at me and breathe.” Race drew in a shaky breath and nodded. “Just focus on breathing okay?” Spot stood up slowly, offering his hand out to help Race up. “C’mon let’s go get you settled in bed alright?” He just nodded and let Spot walk him to their room. 

After he settled Race into bed, he headed into the kitchen to clean up the mess of porcelain and glass.Spot sighed at the mess that was the kitchen and went to go get the broom. 

… 

Spot walked slowly back to their room, making sure not to wake up Race. He crawled into bed and Race turned and clung to Spot like a koala. 

“Hey Tonio,.” Sam whispered slowly, stroking Race’s hair. “I know you’re asleep but if you were awake but I wouldn’t have the confidence to tell these things if you were awake. I love you so much, you know that? I’m so sorry for the things I said today.” Spot smiled sadly, and not knowing that Race was awake, continued talking. “I know that you were planning to propose, Jack can’t keep his mouth closed for anything, especially not to me.” He let out a small chuckle. “And I knew I should have told you about the letter but I just couldn’t. I love you with all my heart and I wouldn’t know what to do without you. And I’m so sorry for all the things I said, because I know how hard we have it, and I never tell you enough how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” Race spoke up and Spot could do nothing but keep stroking his back 

“Go to sleep you idiot.” 

Little did all of them know, that was the last day of peace. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically all the boys get home and Davey and Jack have a heart to heart conversation. Spot and Race fight and then Race has a panic attack but Spot helps him through it and then they talk it out.   
> I hope you enjoy!


	6. And only the minorities are troubled with fixing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing, for better or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're doing well.   
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/ Homophobic language. Mentions of Anxiety

Pulitzer stormed into his office, slapping a file report down on his desk. Hannah, his assistant, followed behind. 

“Mr.Pulitzer the doctor said you must not get your heart rate up!” Her heels clacked as she tried to catch up. Pulitzer sat down, his face slowly resembling a beet more and more. 

“The number of people getting the S.H.O.T. is decreasing, how are we supposed to fix this?” He gave Hannah a look of exasperation. “We need perfection, I can’t stand for less in this mess of a country.” She walked over to the filing cabinets to sort the mess of papers in her arms. 

As she worked he poured himself a glass of whiskey and slowly sipped as he thought about his problem. 

“I got it!” Hannah jumped from where she was standing, sending the files she was sorting flying around the room. 

“I’ll clean that right away!” She ducked her head down and started to pick up the mess on the ground. Pulitzer waved his hand at her. 

“Hannah,” He scribbled something on a notepad and ripped it off. “Run this next store to the Tribune, tell him I’ll have the complete article in an hour or so.” He handed the note to her. “And call Laura in to clean this mess up.” Hannah nodded and scurried out of the room, minding the papers. 

“Tomorrow all of the U.S. will have its problems fixed.”

.... 

The next morning paper held devastating news.

**_Mandatory S.H.O.T. Required for Everyone._ **

Race was the first one up. He walked over to the door where the daily news was pushed through the mail slot. He looked at the headline and dropped the paper, it burned too much to hold. He ran over to the phone mounted on the wall punching the number he first thought of.

“C’mon pick up, pick up, pick up.” 

“Uh hello?” A voice came from the phone. It wasn’t the voice he was looking for but it worked. 

“David? Why are you picking up for Medda? You know what it doesn’t matter, did you read the news? We need to run, we need to hide, this can’t happen.”

“Tony, just breathe. Jack’s been up since 5 and pacing. I swear he’s going to run a hole into the carpet. Anyway, we're at the theatre. We’re leaving to listen to hear the bird sing at 10:30 am.” Race glanced at the clock, it was 9 am.It gave him just enough time to pack up everything at his apartment across town and haul it to the theatre. “Watch out though, the streets are packed with police and government officials. Hide your neck, if they figure out you’re not ‘clean’ they’re going to drag you to a medical center.” 

“Dave, I gotta go, see you soon hopefully.” He hung up before he could reply. Race ran into the bedroom and shook Spot awake. 

“Sean, pack everything up and head to the theatre, there’s no time to explain.” Race was running around the room throwing clothes into a suitcase. “It’s wipeout day.” Spot’s eyes widened at the words and got out of bed, and pushed Race out the door.

“Go home and pack okay? You don’t have time to help.” He just nodded and pulled on his shoes and ran out of the door.

Wipeout day was only a rumor, that Pulitzer had a day where countrywide everyone had to get a shot. Kids, teens, adults, it didn’t matter. He wanted beauty, grace, and most importantly, perfection. No one ever thought wipeout day was going to come, the country simply didn’t have enough budget for all the treatment. But there it was, in front of everyone’s faces. The thought of getting the shot made Race run faster down the street. 

Davey wasn’t lying when he said the streets were swarming with government officials. They were everywhere, trying to corral anyone and everyone into the CVS, or a Walgreens. A cop was heading Race’s way and he did the only thing logical she could think of. He bolted down the street running as fast as he could in Spot’s shoes,which wasn’t fast, he had grabbed the wrong pair, they were three sizes too large. Slipping through as many back alleys as possible he ran into his apartment. 

Throwing everything he saw in sight into a briefcase, Race ran around the room, making sure to grab the pictures on his desk, the ones of his friends and family, and most importantly his wallet. Quicky snapping the briefcase closed, he shed his dress clothes and threw on jeans that were probably Jack’s from the size of them, and an oversized sweater. He ran out the front door as soon as he could. 

Race wasn’t noticed enough to be ushered into the Rite-Aid on his street. Keeping his head down he headed to the theatre. When he got there, the door was locked and he panicked.

“Davey! Jack! Spot! Medda! Anyone please!” Race pounded on the door. Suddenly the door whipped open and he fell forward. 

“Jesus Race, ya think you would of stopped falling into ma arms after I started datin’ Davey.” Jack laughed, and Race could tell he was nervous, his accent was coming through. He tried to stop it down as much as he could. His bio mother hated his accent, she was a higher class than his father was and hated the ‘improper’ accent.

“Not the time, is Spot here?” Race walked into the theatre, and Jack followed, making sure to lock the doors. 

“Yeah he’s with Davey.” Jack was struggling to keep up, Race was a good 6 inches taller and he was practically sprinting. They turned the corner and Race nearly ran into Davey, pacing and forehead creased with worry. 

“Tony, you’re here! And alive! Thank god!” Davey had his arms wrapped around Race nearly suffocating him from the look on his face.

“Davey,” he tried to draw a breath in, “I,” breath, “Can’t,” another breath “Breathe.” 

“Oh, OH!” Davey let go of him and he inhaled deeply. 

“Are you trying to kill him?” A familiar voice came from behind and Race turned so quickly his neck cracked.

“Spot!” Race ran into Spot, and then they proceeded to topple.

They were all laughing, Jack had wrapped his arm around Davey, still carrying Race’s briefcase for some reason, and Race and Spot, a mess of limbs on the floor. 

“Hey y’all.” The kids looked up, and saw Medda walk through the door. “I’m going to say very important things so you better listen up.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spicy things are coming


	7. Who knows if we're ever actually going to change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Medda gives the kids some instructions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there! Soon!  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/Homophobic language, Anxiety in several characters and they way they process it

T

hey all sat down and looked up at her. “So you kids are going to the bar and hide today, and as soon as today’s over, you’re going to get out of here.” She looked at Jack and Spot. “You kids are going to get on a plane to anywhere but here, you hear me?” 

“Mama, we can't just leave you here!” Jack had started to argue but to no avail. 

“Hush child and let me finish. We all know that the U.S. isn’t the land of the free anymore, and you kids don’t deserve that,” Medda turned towards Race and Davey, “ And you two better not argue with me.” Davey shut his mouth. “I got plane tickets for all of you for tomorrow. You’re all gonna get out of here.” 

“Ms.Larkin, I can’t let you pay for th-” Race knew this was a fight he wasn’t going to win. She just sighed and asked “Where to?” 

“Ottawa, Canada, and your flight is tomorrow at 6 am.” Medda told them. Davey just sighed in defeat, knowing at least his family was safe here, but he wasn’t. “And if you kids want to avoid the police catching you, you’re going to have to leave now.” She pointed to the TV sitting in the corner of the room. Police were currently going through every building, looking for people who needed to get the shot. They all scrambled to get up and get their stuff. “Leave your bags here, grab them when you leave tomorrow.” Medda could only try not to cry as she hugged each of them goodbye. “I leave the stage door unlocked for when you slip out tomorrow morning.” She hugged them all tightly.

“Thank you Ms.Medda for all you’ve done for me.” Race was starting to tear up but there was no time to cry. 

She just hugged Davey and they watched Spot and Jack say goodbye to their mom. Race couldn’t hear what they were saying, but all of them were crying. 

“Let’s go.” Spot turned away from Race and the group, and opened the door. Race could see him wiping his tears as Medda wouldn’t be there tomorrow morning when they snuck out. Race followed him and Jack and Davey followed. Spot’s jaw was squared and tight, and as Race tried to hold his hand, it was swatted away. “I don’t want to be touched right now.” Spot gritted, and walked ahead of Race.

“Oh, okay.” Race couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He heard Davey and Jack muttering behind him, afraid of what was yet to come. 

… 

“It’ll be alright Jack, it’s going to be alright.” Davey had been muttering that into Jack’s head for the past 5 minutes walking to the fabric shop.

“Would ya stop sayin’ that? It’s really not Davey, I mean we’re sneaking off into some place so the government won’t find us and turn us into freakin’ robots.” Jack snapped and Davey could hear his accent poking out. “Spottie are leavin’ our ma behind ‘cause it ain’t safe and she’s the one who took in two orphans, I mean who takes in two messed up children, and don’t say we ain’t Dave, ‘cause you know it’s true.” Davey just pinched the bridge of his nose and let his boyfriend rant. 

Eventually they arrived in front of the shop and followed protocol. It wasn’t until they were descending the ladder than Spot said 

“What the hell are we doin’?” Spot was born and raised in Brooklyn and sometimes, like Jack their accent would slip. 

“Not dying.” Davey let out a snort at Jack’s answer. 

“I mean, what are we really doi-” Davey cut Spot off.

“I hate to do this, but I just listened to Jack have the same rant earlier. We’re trying not to die okay? That’s what we’re doing.” Davey had this look on his face, a look of regret and just being plain fed up with life. 

As they all reached the bottom and opened the door to see many other people hiding in the club, the group let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. To Jack it was very strange seeing the club with the lights on. It was only 11 am and everyone was lounging on the couches, mostly people looked frantic and worried. Spot and Race had wandered off somewhere probably to go talk about feelings or something. Jack wasn’t happy with life right now, he had tried his hardest to do everything correctly. He was passing classes with flying colours, talked to his mother, had a good relationship with Davey and now the world was throwing him this curve. 

Jack wandered over to the bar and ordered a milkshake, knowing fully that he was lactose intolerant, but chose to ignore that. After a while of just not really drinking his milkshake Davey walked over and ordered a soda. They didn’t have to say anything, the air in the club was heavy with worry. 

“Hey Dave?” Jack piped up after a bit.

“Yeah Jack?” The sound of Davey’s voice was laced with worry. 

“When we go to Canada, ya wanna get married?” Jack’s voice was even, and honestly sounded pretty bored, like it wasn’t important. 

“Sure.” Davey’s reply was just as flat. The air weighed them down from even the most exciting things. The bartender overheard though, his name tag reading Splasher and he shouted,

“Hey these guys just got engaged in the most nonchalant way!” His voice echoed throughout the club and everyone started cheering. Davey blushed into his soda and Jack stood up. 

“Hey y’all!” Jack’s voice was extremely loud. “So this is my beautiful fiancee, Davey.” The club responded with a scattered ‘Hi Davey’, “ And I’m Jack. Well while we’re stuck here until, I dunno I’d say 3 maybe 4 am, we should all get ta know each other right?” Several people nodded and that’s how Jack Kelly managed to get over 50 people to sit on the ground and play Never have I ever. 

“Never have I ever gotten engaged slash married.” Someone named Robin said. About 10 people in the room groaned, Race, Spot, Jack, and Davey included and lowered their fingers. This went on for a while, people saying things like “Never have I been out of the city” which lead to Jack shouting 

“How are you not stir crazy?” The person just shrugged. The large group of people got to know each other through the most random of games, from truth or dare, to a game of Twister that was found lying around the club. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :0)


	8. The Nitty Gritty of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids chill at the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that good at chapter summaries but that's okay.  
> Trigger warnings; Homophobic Language, Homophobia, Character processes Anxiety

… 

Medda could only hope her kids were safe, not just Spot and Jack but Race and Davey as well. Her little TV was showing people being dragged into pharmacies, police showing no mercy to people who resisted. There were bodies everywhere, Pulizter’s speech was appalling.

“To all citizens who show resistance, brute force will be used, and it will be charged as conspiracy against the government.” Medda could do nothing but shake her head as she watched bodies fall on TV. She heard a pounding on the door. 

“U.S. Government officials! We have a warrant to search your theatre for unvaccinated occupants under the age of 32!” a voice boomed from behind the door. 

“Coming!” Medda grabbed her I.D. and headed towards the lobby. They looked familiar but she couldn’t place where she had seen them before.

“Why hello!” Medda faked her enthusiasm. The taller officer just grabbed her I.D. and grunted.

“She’s clear, Morris.” 

“Got it, Oscar.” The shorter one, Morris showed her a piece of paper. “Ma’am we have a warrant from the state of New York to search your theatre for anyone who is hiding here to avoid getting vaccinated today.” 

“Come right in Officers.” Medda could only do so much to resist. As the officers searched the theatre more and more law enforcement spilled into her theatre. She only looked in horror as her theatre was ransacked, looking for hiding places and eventually they reached the backstage area and her stage door. 

“Is there any possibility people could have gone off and hid?” A random officer asked Medda. Her heartbeat sped up way too fast for her liking.

“I’m not sure, sir.” She grit her teeth and just hoped they bought her lie. 

“She’s lying. Hey Medda, can we hear the bird sing?” Oscar laughed cruelly. “Medda Larkin you’re under arrest for conspiracy against the government and aid of helping spread homosexuality.” As Morris handcuffed her, Medda whispered a prayer under her breath for not only her children, but for everyone hiding.

…

“And then he freaking pushed me off the board and says” Davey pauses in the middle of his story to drop his voice to mock Jack. “Hey Dave, Imma do this wave by myself. And then he falls off as soon as the wave comes.” Jack was hiding his embarrassment into Davey’s shoulder and Davey told the story of him finally dragging him onto a surfboard. The entire room was laughing, they had been sharing stories about themselves for the past two hours.

Jack had never felt so comfortable in his own skin, around people like him, people who had to hide who they truly were. There were so many people who were all so different in this room, yet still had something in common. He wished they all had met in different circumstances, maybe in another life. 

“God it’s like we were born to suffer, like life is some test that sometimes gives the person the SAT’s unprepared, and then there’s the ones who are given the test in first grade grammar.” Spot was going off on one of his overthought rants again, but someone named Finch was debating the metaphor for life with him. Jack shook his head at his brother, for somehow who chose to be a Music major, he honestly could have majored in English, or philosophy, or psychology. Spot was top of their graduating class but still chose to major in something less conventional. 

He turned towards where Davey was playing an ill thought out improv game with Race and other people. Jack realized he was standing in the middle of the room, alone. He was alone again, just like he was years ago on the first day of school after moving to a new school, again. Jack was a small kid again, standing all alone lost in a room of people he felt like he knew all his life, but still alone, overthinking his thoughts, anxiety creeping at the back of his skull, tingling and unwanted. All of a sudden there were arms around him and it was Spot, grounding him, just like they did when he was little. 

“Looser or tighter Jackie?” Spot asked him.He was rubbing small circles into his back, pinning Jacks arms to his side so he wouldn’t try to scratch at them. 

“Tighter please.” Jack’s voice was hardly above a whisper. This wasn’t the time to panic, wasn’t the time to waste everyone else’s time on him. Spot’s grip tightened and he left out a breath he was holding in.

“Let’s go get a soda okay?” Spot led Jack away from the center of the room, and no one had noticed anything, people were just still wrapped up in their own little worlds. He heard Davey and Race laugh, and for once, he let himself smile.

“What’s crackalackin?” Splasher walked over to where Jack and Spot were sitting. Jack burst out laughing and Sam wrinkled their noses up. 

“Please never say that again, ever.” Spot couldn’t help keep the disdain out of his voice. Jack was still doubling over in laughter.

“Sorry Splasher but I have to agree with Spottie here.” He was wiping away his tears. “Can I get a ginger ale and a cherry soda?” Jojo just nodded and walked away. 

“You remembered our order?” Spot couldn’t help but smile. At their mom’s theatre after school they would always order the same thing everyday. Jack gave a small smile and nodded. Spot snorted, which was very un-Spot like and Jack just giggled. Jojo slid their soda’s to them and they nodded back in appreciation. Strangers wouldn’t know but they had been Jack and Spot since the moment they met. They weren't just siblings, they were best friends who got each other through their anxiety and the ghost that came back to haunt them from the foster system and their biological families. Medda could only do so much but Jack and Spot saved each other from drowning in their past. As they sipped their soda’s they basked in the gentle buzz of the room, content. 

Someone had the sense to turn on the music and soon enough everyone was on the dance floor. 

“BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,BLAH!” Apparently someone had given Race the choice to pick music and now  _ Spring Awakening  _ was blasting through the speakers. Now nearly everyone was shouting along to the lyrics and jumping up and down. Jack just was thankful it wasn’t  _ Dear Evan Hansen _ . Jojo looked at Jack jumping up and down in confusion and Jack tried to shout back, 

“GAY THEATRE KIDS DON’T ASK!” Splasher just nodded in confusion and went back to drying glasses. 

The music was loud, the lights were dim and they could all be dead within the next few hours, so you bet they were dancing like idiots. Race had brought his musical theatre vinyl, turned on speaker and to no one's surprise, everyone knew the words.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and are doing well!


	9. We gotta start somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peak of what's happening above ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say. I pulled an all nighter writing this ;P  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/ Homophobic language. Violence, just a little, Anxiety

Above ground was a different story, there was law enforcement swarming New York. For the first time since the Pulizter’s presidency, the gates were open. New York was a madhouse, the streets flooded with bodies, police everywhere and just the smell of streets alone made one gag. 

News vans were all over the country, trying to film the chaos. Broken windows, doors torn off their hinges, and the screams were the worst part. On every corner of every street, you would see someone hunched over a body and their wails filled the air along with the police sirens. San Francisco was up in flames, L.A. wasn’t much better, and New York got the worst of it. 

People were marching in the street, over bodies, to the mayor’s office. Police attacked but someone had set fire to the streets causing them to flinch back. There was no stopping anyone, at all. Flags were raised, and they were burned. The smell of smoke choked everyone's lungs and everyone was crying at this point. Little kids were everywhere, looking for their parents, screaming, crying, while some people just stood in the streets, looking around at the mess. Police had given up at trying to get people vaccinated at this point, and were more trying to stop the protesters. 

Broadway wasn’t faring too well, the streets were swarmed with law enforcement looking everywhere for people who could be hiding. Doors were broken down and windows were shattered. Strangely enough, Oscar and Morris refused to step foot into Broadway, let alone tell anyone where the club was. 

…

_ ‘So how bout a dance?’  _ Laura Osnes was singing in the background as everyone slowly danced. Davey knew this was one of Spot’s favorite songs and Davey being Davey offered them a hand while Jack and Race were twirling around pretending to be Bonnie and Clyde. 

“I love those idiots.” Spot looked at Jack and Race dancing like the world wasn’t a wreck. Davey looked too, their height difference making dancing difficult. 

“You know, me too.” Davey chuckled and spun Spot around. “I can’t believe we’re all getting married soon.” 

“I forgot you idiots got engaged! I can’t believe my idiot of a brother didn't even get you a ring.” Davey spun Spot out.

“Yeah, I mean if anything, this is the most Jack Kelly thing to do honestly. Get engaged because there's nothing better to do.”Spot was spun back in.

“I’m proud of you two though, you two have come such a long way, step to the left Davey.” Davey blush, stumbling over the dance moves. 

“You and Race as well, and to think we could be dead in a couple hours. If we die today, I’m happy I got to be your friend.” This made Spot tear up. He spun Davey out.

_ ‘Let’s make a start’  _

“I am too David Jacobs, or should I say David Kelly-Jacobs. If we die tonight, I’m sure as heck going to have the same last name as Antonio.” Davey pulled Spot in. 

_ ‘Music like this can really throw ya,’ _

“Me too Sean Conlon-Higgins, me too.” Their dance turned more into swaying. 

_ ‘You’ll lose the blues and you may lose your heart.’  _

Race and Jack walked over and Jack grabbed Spot’s hand, spinning him around. Race just shrugged and started to dance with Davey. The music slowed and Race sang along for the closing line. 

_ “You’ll lose the blues, and you may lose your heart.” _

__ He sang looking at Spot, and Davey didn’t blame him, he was looking at Jack as well. The moment was sweet, slow, and bitter.

…

“Where’s the club located?” Medda only shrugged. She was being investigated after Morris and Oscar apparently wouldn’t talk. “I know you know. If you tell us we could let you go for help.” Medda kept her mouth shut as the officer slammended his hands on the table. “What is your problem? We offer you money, you say no. We offer you freedom, you say no! What are you hiding?” 

“I’ll never tell.” Medda kept her voice even, unlike the officer standing before her. He walked forward and raised his hand.  **_SLAP_ ** . She still said nothing, her cheek turning red.

“Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber won’t say anything either. And they’re cops! They could die and they’re helping a bunch of fucking fags !” Medda lost her cool.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ degrade my children.” The officer turned his head towards her.

“Did you just say children?” His face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh! That’s what you’re hiding. You’re. Hiding, You’re. Stupid. Lousy.  _ FAGGOT. _ CHILDREN!” He punciated every word. 

“DON’T CALL MY CHILDREN LOUSY! THEY’RE BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU’LL EVER BE!” Medda was raging. The officer stepped forward again.  **_SLAP_ ** . She grit her teeth as he grinned at her. 

“That’s enough!” A voice came from behind the officer. It was Oscar and Morris with someone standing behind them. Their faces were red, Oscar’s eye was starting to bruise, and Morris had a busted lip. “They gave in.” The person laughed. “ _ Pathetic.  _ Oh and you know why they wouldn’t talk? It’s because their’s little sister is a  _ homosexual _ .” He hissed out the last word. “Yeah and she begged them not to hurt anyone like her. But Oscar here you see, gave in because he couldn’t bare to see his poor little sister get hurt. Let’s go.” They barked and they dragged Morris and Oscar off, the officer in the room following and slamming the door shut. 

“Dear God…” Medda started to pray.

… 

“Anything goes!” The entire club was shouting along to Sutton Foster. The quartet found themselves sitting on a couch however, exhausted from all the dancing. 

“I would totally tap, but I don’t think my legs work anymore.” Everyone agreed to what Jack had just said. They were all theatre kids in highschool and took several dance classes. Having a mother run a theatre might have affected their decision on whether to take dance or not. Spot was nursing a cherry soda, too tired to even talk. He was curled up against Race, who was half asleep at this point. Davey was sleeping on the couch, lying on Jack, totally ignoring the loud music blasting throughout the room. It was nine pm, they had been at the club for over 10 hours. The smell of sweat lingered throughout the club and everyone was sticky with a slight sheen. 

“I am at least we’re not robots right now.” Race said, breaking the quiet seal. 

“Yeah that’s true.” Jack looked at Davey to make sure he was still sleeping. “Sarah was so kind before she got her shot. I remember going with Dave to visit before her kid. I don’t think I’ve seen him cry so much. I don’t think he cried this much at his father’s funeral.” He shook his head, running his hand through Davey’s hair. “I hope I never get it.” That statement hung heavy in the air. It might be true in a couple hours, that they would fly out of New York , to Canada and have a happy life. That is if they weren’t shot dead. 

“Everyone wishes for that Jack.” Jack jumped at the sound of Davey’s voice. That meant Davey had heard what Jack had just said. 

“Yeah, yeah they do.” Spot sleepily yawned. The music stopped and all of a sudden everyone left the dance floor. Mush stood up. 

“If y’all are going to sleep,” He looked at most of the people sprawled around the room. “Y’all are going to help clean.” Race stood up, Spot tumbling out of his lap and grabbed a broom. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're doing alright :). I'm real sleepy it's currently 5:39


	10. The end of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Finale to this story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my baby and I like to think she's improved. Imma actually go sleep now though  
> Trigger Warnings: Homophobia/ Homophobic language, Anxiety, Death

“It should be somewhere here.” Morris could hardly stand up straight. He was leaning heavily on Oscar who was also about to collapse. They had been walking around in circles for the past two hours, neither of them able to really see clearly. Oscarwas shoved forwards and they both fell forward. 

“Next person who hurts either of them again, gets shot in the foot!” the head officer shouted. “I need them alive!” Someone decided to kick Morris to see if he was alive and he pulled out his gun and  **BANG** shot him in the foot. “Are you dumb? I said the next person who hurt them gets shot!” Officer Lilywhite was laying on the ground crying in pain, bleeding onto the street. “Someone go and radio HQ to bring an ambulance.” The head officer walked over to where the two officers were laying and yanked them up. Oscar and Morris stumbled forward, relying on each other to not fall forward. 

For a while they stumbled forward blindly, until they reached a fro-yo shop. 

“Here?” an officer asked. 

“Is it a fabric shop?” Morris slurred

“God damn it, I don’t have time for this.” The head officer pulled out his gun again and everyone took a step back. He raised his gun to the sky and fired two warning shots after seven seconds. 

“You awake now?” Oscar blindly nodded. “You said fabric shop right?” 

… 

Everyone was laying down, on the floor, on couches, tables, and with Splasher’s case, he was laying on top of the bar. The group was still sprawled across the two couches they had claimed their own. 

“ _ Kiss today goodbye,” _ Jack sang. Everyone groaned. Jack always sang this right before the clock turned 12 am. Davey couldn’t help but smile and join in though. 

“ _ The sweetness and the sorrow _ ” 

“ _ Wish me luck, the same to you.”  _ Race’s tenor filled the room. Medda had played this song when they were little, even if they didn’t understand the meaning of the song.

“ _ But I can’t regret what I did for love.”  _ Spot looked at the rest of the group and they all nodded, joining in. 

“ _ What I did for love.” _ As the group got older the song meant more and more to them. They grew proud of who they were as a group, and as individuals. They didn’t all have the easiest lives growing up, but through every fight, Medda would leave this song playing throughout the theatre and they would always end up singing. 

…

Above on the street they had police cars racing down on every street, trying to find the fabric shop. Little did they know, there were over 30 shops in the area. Morris and Oscar passed out after the 15th and the head officer started cursing so loudly that cops from the block over could hear him. He didn’t want to hurt them either further so he let them sleep, but he had a plan to get the location out of the two sleeping officers. 

As he sped down to the station, he looked at the streets. There were bodies everywhere, people still out at 12 am, looking for missing people. How Pulitzer thought this was a good idea, he would never know.

When he pulled up into the station, he left the Delancys’ in the back seats. He walked in and was greeted by the smell of a pot of coffee, he sighed in relief. Blindly grabbing the coffee pot and a cup, he poured himself a cup of coffee. 

“Hey Giovanni.” the secretary, Elane, waved at him. 

“Hi Elane. Why are you still here?” He was puzzled at the thought of the secretary being there at 12 am.   
“There are cases from today to 2055, Gio. You can’t exactly go home when there’s chaos going on.” She clicked her tongue and went back to sorting files. “You know, about 4 officers are dead?” John whistled. “Yeah, Jermaine, Donnell, McMartin, and Dixon. What a pity.” She said this with sadness coating her throat. “Whatcha doin’ back at the station? I thought you were trying to find that hidden club?”

“They both passed out. I thought I should let them rest before I tried to wake them up. I told Ranson to go easy on them, but he didn’t listen.” 

“Well that’s unfortunate.” 

“Yeah it is Elane.” 

…

“ _ Won’t forget, can’t regret what I did for love. What I did for love. What I did for love.”  _ The group was all standing up at this point, finishing the song. The club cheered, clapping them on.

“Man, when did you guys learn to sing like that?” Jojo asked in awe. 

“Our ma,” Spot gestures between him and Jack. “Runs the  _ Larkin _ . Davey and Race got roped in by being our friends.” He grinned and turned towards the group. “When’s the last time we did that?” 

“Winter of 2049, before finals and Race was breaking down.” Davey said almost automatically. Everyone turned to look at him. “What? These moments are important.” Jack just smacked the back of Davey’s head lovingly, and they all burst into laughter. 

“We need to do that more often.” Jack said through his laughter. 

“Yes, agreed. That was very much so fun.” Spot responded and Race gave him a look.

“I’m too tired to deal with proper grammar right about now.” Davey snickered and he shot him a death glare. He put his hands up as a sign of surrender, looking terrified. 

…

“Get up.” John opened the car door. stirred awake and shook Oscar “I need the location of the club or we go after your sister.” His eyes widened. 

“It was called the Knit Stitch on 6th East.” Morris let the words spill out of his mouth before he could stop it. Oscar smacked him and Giovanni just sighed.

“Get out of my car.” they scrambled out of the car, tripping over their own feet. John slammed the back door, opened the driver's seat, got in and raced down the street, tires screeching. His car echoing throughout the empty streets. He gathered the attention of all the other police, and they soon followed when they realized that he had found the location of the club. 

Giovanni arrived at the front of the shop, being followed by several other officers. Their sirens wailed as they busted down the door. Swarming into the shop they looked in confusion as there was no one there in the shop. It wasn’t until he walked into the bathroom when he heard the sound of people talking underneath the floorboards. The other officers were trying to look for a trapdoor or a way to get underground. Giovanni stood in the shower, and found that the floor was loose below his feet. 

Having the other officers move back, and stepping off of the shower himself, he lifted a floor tile to see it come away to an entire trapdoor. Giovanni just signaled the officers to follow him as he went down the ladder

…

“ _ It can be us and only us.”  _ Jack and Davey were singing some love song from  _ Dear Evan Hansen _ , as couples were slowly swaying. Suddenly the door busted open. Cops streamed into the room, pointing guns at everyone.

“PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” The sound of sirens echoed into the club. Giovanni walked further into the room, spanning out and checking for anyone who was resisting. 

“Father?” Race whipped his head towards Giovanni. His uniform read “Higgins.” Race hadn’t seen his father since he had came out. He had made Race’s life miserable, never supporting him, never showing up to his shows, or even going to his graduation and Race was valedictorian.

“Oh come on! Why are you here!” Officer Higgins turned red in the face.

“I’m fucking trans and gay! Connect the dots a little!” Race shouted back. 

He aimed his gun at his chest. Race stepped back grabbing Spot’s hand in his left, and Davey in his right. Jack broke from Davey’s grip

“We are who we are and you can’t change that! Love is a choice, but not a choice. We don’t choose who we fall in love with, but we can choose to love! We will not be silenced!” Mush was shouting at Jack to shut up, but he kept going. “ And I’ll die knowing that I chose love over choosing to hate. Our stories will be ingrained in history, just you wait. One day they’ll see we died because we chose to stand up for what we believe in! You might silence our voices now but our voices will sing out one day that love is beautiful and free! Love is love and that’s all that it needs to be!” The click of a gun caused Davey to cry out.

“Jack’s right! One day our story will be told as kids learn about the past, learning how much of a dark era we are in now. History doesn’t repeat, but it often rhythms and that’s because of people like Pulizter, who chooses to forget history. The person who we love doesn’t define us as a person. We define ourselves as people!” Another gun click.

“You can’t change us as much as you want to. We’re human and we’ll always have our flaws. It’s choosing to accept those flaws that makes a man a man.” Spot’s grinned at the officers 

“ _ Kiss today goodbye, and point me to tomorrow.”  _ Race sang out through his tears, and shouted 

“ _ FUCK THE GOVENERM-”  _

__ **_BANG._ **

***

The news was a bloodbath. Davey, Jack, Spot, and Race were front page, First a picture of them found in Race’s suitcase, one of them at the beach, and then them laying on the floor of the club, shot dead. Even in death they were holding hands, an odd sort of family. Medda was charged with conspiracy against the government and with the helping spread homosexuality. She got sentenced for 35 years. When she read the paper she screamed so loudly that the cell block over was woken up by a mother’s sob over her children. Sarah cried for the first time since she got her shot at the news of her brother’s death. She went home for the first time in years, hugging her mother and little brother, all grieving over the loss of a son, brother, and friend. Race’s mother forced Officer HIggins to move out, he had killed her son. She never talked to him again after the funeral of her only child. 

They were all buried side by side, with their headstones telling their story.

_ James Sawyer Kelly-Jacobs. September 16, 2029- May 16,2050. Beloved son,brother, friend, and fiancee. He died fighting for rights still yet to win. Kiss today goodbye.  _

_ David Isaac Kelly-Jacobs. August 12,2029- May 16, 2050. Loved by all and a great son, amazing friend, caring brother and kind fiancee. His story will be told about standing up for what he believed. And point me toward tomorrow. _

_ Antonio Santino Conlon-Higgins. February 16, 2029-May 16,2050. He was a light and joy in this world to his friends, family, and fiancee. He said what needed to be said and will not be forgotten. We did what we had to do. _

_ Sean Emmett Conlon-Higgins. August 8, 2029-May 16,2050. He was deeply loved, though it never showed at surface level, Respected by all. Won’t forget, can’t regret.  _

Years later a woman showed up to their grave, with three children in tow and a very round belly.

“Hello my boys, how I have missed you. Tony is doing just fine, aren’t you Anthony?” The boy to her right dropped roses onto Race’s grave. “He’s gotten so big and his dancing is so good. You would love it Racer. Sawyer and Issac are constantly glued to my side but that's how children are. The twins are better at being quiet than you ever were, Jack.” She chuckled as both Issac and Sawyer laid flowers carefully on the graves of the people they were named after. “And they’re so smart. I think you would have loved them, Davey. And this,” she pointed towards her stomach, “This is Seánna. Finally a girl! Sean, I did it. I got married and now have a bunch of mini me’s running around. Davey totally told me. ” She pulled all of her kids close to her as she stuck a pride flag right next to each of their head stones.

She knelt down to be eye level to them. “These men were very brave and are the reason Mama and Mom are together and why we have you guys.” They laughed as she tickled their stomachs. “I want you to remember this. This song will carry you through all of the good and bad times, the sad, the happy, all of it.” And Crystal started to sing

“ _ Kiss today goodbye and point me towards tomorrow,”  _

**The end.**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say they die at the end. Crystal is my favorite. If anyone would like, I'd love to explain her backstory and of course she's a lesbian. I hope you have a god day ;0). imma go sleep for 10 hours. <3 lots of love, andie.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, drop a kudos or a comment. I have a tumblr though I'm not super active, drop bye and say hi!. I'm now @lilacskiesandroses.


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